I’m going to share a secret with you…Fear held me back for a REALLY LONG TIME.
Having a baby made me question everything that was important in life. Suddenly, the career that I’d worked hard to grow and develop for years seemed trivial and unimportant, corporate language suddenly seemed ridiculous and with a detached sense of perspective, it was blindingly obvious that I’d lost sight of who I was and what I was about.
Fear is a BIG BLOCKER for loads of us, and often, it’s not just one single fear, it’s several. I’ve been doing a lot of personal development work over the last few years; in fact, I’ve been on a HUGE personal development journey since my teens but life really changed for me a few years ago. Everything I had worked hard towards in my career, reputation I had built, respect I’d earnt, projects I had delivered, relationships I’d cultivated and the life I was leading…. Suddenly, it just wasn’t me anymore.
I had a scary and daunting realisation that I had taken huge leaps in a direction that seemed like the right thing to do at the time, and yes, had brought me loads of success both financially and personally but just wasn’t me. It was only when I took some time out and looked back in on my ‘old life’ that I realised how far I was away from what I wanted. Yep – like many others, becoming a parent really changed things.
It was a big moment. I began to realise what was truly important and how I had always longed for the idea of starting my own biz, and don’t get me wrong I dabbled, but there was always something holding me back.
I found excuses to avoid taking action… “I’ve got a promotion”, “I’ve got a new job”, “my office location has changed”, “I’m training for a marathon”, “I need the financial stability before making the leap”, (ok that one has some validity), and any other bloody reason to let myself off the hook. You see, at the time, I actually thought these were real reasons, but they weren’t. I was simply keeping myself stuck in a fear mindset – I realise that now.
This painful moment of coming to my senses and realising how I had continually got in my own way at several pivotal life points suddenly came to life. I noticed a recurring pattern in my life had been about getting close to fear, (even good, exciting fears) and then standing back and taking a safer option. Now was the time to change, but as a mum to a young child I found it incredibly hard to prioritse myself, my own wellbeing and escape the parental guilt about literally – everything!
I knew with my expereince and training that I could make a difference to others and so I started… it was more than just a conversation, it was about space to think, reflect, be honest with themselves and do something constructive as a result. A powerful conversation can’t be underrated – it can be a complete gamechanger and its the time to think that gives us the space for answers. More recently I’ve moved into working more specifically with parents and those with caring responsibilities, because I get such a buzz when people tell me the changes they’ve made had a positive impact on their whole family network.